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To my fellow finalist
To my fellow winners
To my fellow champs!!
This letter is for you.
It is remaining just very few days for us to kiss our undergraduate years goodbye as we become full-blown graduates and transition to the next phase of life.
A lot of us are full of joy, eager for that time, overly excited and pumped to say a permanent goodbye to ABUAD.
I mean, if some people had the remote control to time, they would fast-forward to the last day when they would roll their big boxes out of the school gate.
Oh! What a joy,
What a success and what a glory.
But do you know that even in the midst of this excitement and jubilation, there are still some very rarely spoken about emotions that few or some or maybe many finalists are feeling? Some of which are regrets, worry, fear, anxiety etc. Yes, having spoken to myself and some other people, I have noticed that these feelings are not uncommon in this season especially for my fellow overthinkers and deep thinkers.
People are beginning to ask themselves questions or make statements like ;
What did I even achieve in these 5 years?
What did I do with my life?
I don't even feel fulfilled.
I wished I did so and so.
I did not even graduate with a first class, I feel like I have failed.
What would the outside world look like for me?
I feel so unequipped for the next phase of my life.
To my fellow champs!!
This letter is for you.
It is remaining just very few days for us to kiss our undergraduate years goodbye as we become full-blown graduates and transition to the next phase of life.
A lot of us are full of joy, eager for that time, overly excited and pumped to say a permanent goodbye to ABUAD.
I mean, if some people had the remote control to time, they would fast-forward to the last day when they would roll their big boxes out of the school gate.
Oh! What a joy,
What a success and what a glory.
But do you know that even in the midst of this excitement and jubilation, there are still some very rarely spoken about emotions that few or some or maybe many finalists are feeling? Some of which are regrets, worry, fear, anxiety etc. Yes, having spoken to myself and some other people, I have noticed that these feelings are not uncommon in this season especially for my fellow overthinkers and deep thinkers.
People are beginning to ask themselves questions or make statements like ;
What did I even achieve in these 5 years?
What did I do with my life?
I don't even feel fulfilled.
I wished I did so and so.
I did not even graduate with a first class, I feel like I have failed.
What would the outside world look like for me?
I feel so unequipped for the next phase of my life.
How would I live in that house with everything that happens there?
How would I make new friends?
To mention but a few of the many questions that I have asked myself, that you might have asked yourself and other people might have been asking themselves.
I hope after reading this blog post, you are encouraged and reminded that this not the end of your life but rather the end of your university. There are still so many years ahead of you, there are still so many opportunities before you, there are still so many chances to make things right and make your dreams come true.
How would I make new friends?
To mention but a few of the many questions that I have asked myself, that you might have asked yourself and other people might have been asking themselves.
I hope after reading this blog post, you are encouraged and reminded that this not the end of your life but rather the end of your university. There are still so many years ahead of you, there are still so many opportunities before you, there are still so many chances to make things right and make your dreams come true.
Some important point for the weary and discouraged to note
1. You are not a failure: I know you probably do not want to hear talk less of believe this. You have concluded in your mind that because you did not get that first class or because that election didn‘t go as you envisioned or because you did not achieve one thing or another in your 4 or 5 or 6 years of schooling, you have failed. Although you are laughing and joining everyone to shout “final year babe”, but inside you genuinely are not happy or fulfilled. If this is how you feel, please read on.
You should never think of yourself as a failure simply because you did not get the CGPA you worked hard for. Trust me when I say it is not a solid defining factor of success and those with higher CGPAs are not necessarily better or more advantaged than you are.
Also, whether you realise it or not, you have gained so many other things in the process of reaching out for something. In this case for example, the ability to sit, study, understand and assimilate. As trivial as it sounds, not everyone can do it. But you have being able to master the skill of studying in the process of trying to attain a first class and this skill would defitinely serve you in many times to come.
What about the ability to be resilient, to set goals for yourself and achieve them e.g something as little as I am going to make sure I finish this chapter today before I sleep and time after time you did it. Do you know how much intrinsic trust and confidence it has helped you build in yourself? And what if you didn't win the election, at least you built your confidence in the process of the campaign, you succeeded at putting yourself out there (What so many people are afraid of doing), you came out of your shell, built your communication skill, public speaking skill, learnt to connect with others and became better as a leader (Even though you do not have a named position yet).
What I am saying in essence is that, you might feel like a failure because of what you weren't able to achieve in school but could you please stop focusing on that for once and open your eyes to who you have become in the process, what you have learnt and how you have grown.
2. Do not dwell on your regrets:
What I am saying in essence is that, you might feel like a failure because of what you weren't able to achieve in school but could you please stop focusing on that for once and open your eyes to who you have become in the process, what you have learnt and how you have grown.
2. Do not dwell on your regrets:
Oh, how I wish I did this, how I wish I tried this, how I wish I did this better etc.
Your feelings are valid, I mean we might never get this opportunity again, to be in an environment dominated by young, youthful, creative, vibrant people. An environment full of opportunities, full of potentials, a beautiful environment designed for our growth in every area we desire to grow in. So it can be a bit painful when you reflect and plainly see the opportunities you missed or see how you could have done things better. But the reason you do not have to dwell so much on it or beat yourself up is because firstly, everything happens for a reason and what even feels like a mistake or a missed opportunity right now is probably preparing you for something bigger and better. Secondly, you did what you did with the information you had, if you knew better, you most likely would have done better or make better decisions. So there is no need to be sad. Take a deep breath, take note of the lesson learnt and run with it to the next phase of your life.
3. Avoid Comparison: Yo! this is definitely a big one. They say comparison is a thief of joy. Some of us were content or may be Indifferent until we started comparing our journey with other people's journey, then everything changed. Comparison if not tamed would not only steal your joy, but fill you with envy, jealousy and then bitterness, and trust me you don't what to say goodbye to ABUAD and start another phase of your life with bitterness in your heart. Fight comparison by all means, fight it, pray against it, stop coveting what others have, stop looking at other people's life who you believe has done better than you and eventhough they have done better, your journey is not their journey, your background is not the same as theirs neither are your destiny's the same. So focus on yourself and take eyes away from every other person.
3. Avoid Comparison: Yo! this is definitely a big one. They say comparison is a thief of joy. Some of us were content or may be Indifferent until we started comparing our journey with other people's journey, then everything changed. Comparison if not tamed would not only steal your joy, but fill you with envy, jealousy and then bitterness, and trust me you don't what to say goodbye to ABUAD and start another phase of your life with bitterness in your heart. Fight comparison by all means, fight it, pray against it, stop coveting what others have, stop looking at other people's life who you believe has done better than you and eventhough they have done better, your journey is not their journey, your background is not the same as theirs neither are your destiny's the same. So focus on yourself and take eyes away from every other person.
Trust me, you cannot miss out on God's plan for you.
4. Plan plan plan: This blog post is not a call for
you to be complacent as you prepare to go out there, but a call for you to become encouraged as you continue in pursuit of your many dreams and aspirations. When I say plan I don't mean draw out a picture of the exact way you want your life to look like in the following years to come, but if you can do that, why not. What I mean rather is to be aware of the changes you would love to make as you go out there and not miss any opportunity to put them into action. For example, if you feel like you didn't do well with building relationships in uni, be much more intentional about going out to places and event that would help you connect with like-minded people. Basically, just be intentional about building upon what you figured was a weakness in your university days. Remember this university is like a rehearsal ground, the outside world is the stage.
5. Do not fear or worry/trust God: Why some people are beyond excited to go out there, some, are a bit fearful. They feel they are not enough, and they don't know enough. Some people still feel like children, and now they are expected to go out there and suddenly be adults and think like adults and make big adult decisions. This makes them anxious and scared that they might disappoint everyone including themselves. While this emotion is totally understandable and valid, it should not be allowed to rule your life. Fear and worry can be interpreted as not trusting God. If you put all trust in yourself, then yes, go ahead and fear, but if you understand that you cannot do it on your own, you need God's help in every step of the way and God himself is also willing to guide you, then do not fear. Plus, you really are incapable of knowing it all. You are only a 19 or 20 or 21 or 22 or 23 etc. years old with not enough information about how this world works. So do your best, like I mentioned before plan, do your research etc. but also have it at the back of your mind there is a God who is backing you (e dey your back).
6. Pray, pray, pray: To my Christian finalist. This is a time to stay prayed up. Go back and visit your secret place. This is a time to submit all the anxious, fearful and worrisome, thought to Jesus on the cross, this is a time to lay it all down before God. Tell him every single thing, the regrets, guilt etc. And listen to him speak to you. This is the time to tell him all your weakness. Ask him how the next phase can be better, ask him to open your eyes to opportunities. Pray for grace to not lose your peace, joy, and sanity in this season. This is not a time to stay disconnected from the one who knows all things, this is instead a time to get closer to him through prayers, fasting and studying the word. Do not stop praying, my dear finalist.
7. Practice gratitude: If you feel you have nothing worth been grateful for, you are alive. You started the journey alive, and you are not finishing dead. This may sound extreme, but brothers and sisters, there are things to be grateful for. Go to God in worship, spend time just been grateful to him at least for seeing you through the journey in ABUAD. Think deep and practice gratitude, not every time focusing on what you weren't able to do or what didn't work.
8. Choose joy/celebrate: All these negative emotions can easily steal your joy away and that would be terrible because it simply means your joy is tied to your achievement. But choose joy and peace of mind. Some people have even decided to stay away from every final year activity as much as they can because they feel unaccomplished, they have decided instead to wear sadness like a garment as they await the end but no my friends that is not how to go about it. Even the Bible says in everything rejoice, for this is the will of the father concerning you. Celebrate, attend your Thanksgiving, go to church, dance, shout, praise God like a winner and champion that you are, encourage yourself. Like I said before if you feel nothing is worth celebrating, remember that you are alive and you are serving a living God, who is El-roi meaning the God that sees you. So my fellow finalist, please choose to rejoice in the Lord. Participate in activities, enjoy your last days (in uni), celebrate yourself and allow others celebrate with you without feeling guilty. I am proud of you, you should be proud of yourself too.
4. Plan plan plan: This blog post is not a call for
you to be complacent as you prepare to go out there, but a call for you to become encouraged as you continue in pursuit of your many dreams and aspirations. When I say plan I don't mean draw out a picture of the exact way you want your life to look like in the following years to come, but if you can do that, why not. What I mean rather is to be aware of the changes you would love to make as you go out there and not miss any opportunity to put them into action. For example, if you feel like you didn't do well with building relationships in uni, be much more intentional about going out to places and event that would help you connect with like-minded people. Basically, just be intentional about building upon what you figured was a weakness in your university days. Remember this university is like a rehearsal ground, the outside world is the stage.
5. Do not fear or worry/trust God: Why some people are beyond excited to go out there, some, are a bit fearful. They feel they are not enough, and they don't know enough. Some people still feel like children, and now they are expected to go out there and suddenly be adults and think like adults and make big adult decisions. This makes them anxious and scared that they might disappoint everyone including themselves. While this emotion is totally understandable and valid, it should not be allowed to rule your life. Fear and worry can be interpreted as not trusting God. If you put all trust in yourself, then yes, go ahead and fear, but if you understand that you cannot do it on your own, you need God's help in every step of the way and God himself is also willing to guide you, then do not fear. Plus, you really are incapable of knowing it all. You are only a 19 or 20 or 21 or 22 or 23 etc. years old with not enough information about how this world works. So do your best, like I mentioned before plan, do your research etc. but also have it at the back of your mind there is a God who is backing you (e dey your back).
6. Pray, pray, pray: To my Christian finalist. This is a time to stay prayed up. Go back and visit your secret place. This is a time to submit all the anxious, fearful and worrisome, thought to Jesus on the cross, this is a time to lay it all down before God. Tell him every single thing, the regrets, guilt etc. And listen to him speak to you. This is the time to tell him all your weakness. Ask him how the next phase can be better, ask him to open your eyes to opportunities. Pray for grace to not lose your peace, joy, and sanity in this season. This is not a time to stay disconnected from the one who knows all things, this is instead a time to get closer to him through prayers, fasting and studying the word. Do not stop praying, my dear finalist.
7. Practice gratitude: If you feel you have nothing worth been grateful for, you are alive. You started the journey alive, and you are not finishing dead. This may sound extreme, but brothers and sisters, there are things to be grateful for. Go to God in worship, spend time just been grateful to him at least for seeing you through the journey in ABUAD. Think deep and practice gratitude, not every time focusing on what you weren't able to do or what didn't work.
8. Choose joy/celebrate: All these negative emotions can easily steal your joy away and that would be terrible because it simply means your joy is tied to your achievement. But choose joy and peace of mind. Some people have even decided to stay away from every final year activity as much as they can because they feel unaccomplished, they have decided instead to wear sadness like a garment as they await the end but no my friends that is not how to go about it. Even the Bible says in everything rejoice, for this is the will of the father concerning you. Celebrate, attend your Thanksgiving, go to church, dance, shout, praise God like a winner and champion that you are, encourage yourself. Like I said before if you feel nothing is worth celebrating, remember that you are alive and you are serving a living God, who is El-roi meaning the God that sees you. So my fellow finalist, please choose to rejoice in the Lord. Participate in activities, enjoy your last days (in uni), celebrate yourself and allow others celebrate with you without feeling guilty. I am proud of you, you should be proud of yourself too.
In conclusion, university asides for the purpose of getting a degree is also an environment where you get to learn a lot about yourself and the world around you so you can become much more matured and equipped for the outside. Growth would not come easy if we never leave the confines of our parent house. Leaving the comfort of our home and mixing up with our mates from other environment or backgrounds provides us with one of the best opportunities to learn, relearn, unlearn things about ourselves and our world. So you see, even though you feel unfulfilled right now, remember that the university can be likened to the rehearsal ground while the world is the stage. That you feel unaccomplished right now doesn't mean the rest of your life has to be like that, you can take note of the mistakes made, the lesson learnt before going out there to make your life a better one.
Thank you for reading Champ!
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